I hope that by finding me here you are looking for information and seeking help to get you through all of the information I’m sure you have had thrown at you or found on the internet. Take a deep breath and know that you are not alone. You are not the first parents to go through this and you will not be the last. My hope is that we all can help each other and pass that help on to other parents that find themselves searching for support.
And with that I CONGRATULATE you. You are going to be parents and whether this is your first baby or you are veterans at this point, you are still going to be brand new parents to this little one you are having. Being a parent is always tough. Navigating the ups and downs, decision making, choice making with each child of a different temperament is never easy. It is however, fun and brings a joy not comparable to anything else I personally have encountered.
I know that you are feeling many different emotions and that they come in waves. You feel joy that you are having a child and blessed to be pregnant. You also feel guilt. Guilt because you are wondering if there is anything you could have done differently to prevent this for your child. Guilt because you are wondering if you did something that caused this to happen to your child. Worry because you are afraid of how your child will be looked at or treated as soon as they are born. Worry because you are afraid of how you will look at your child as soon as they are born. Guilt because you are feeling this way. Anger over having to be faced with these challenges. Anger because feeling joyful while pregnant is now not your most abundant feeling. Worry and fear are at the forefront of your emotions.
I can only speak of my emotions and my personal experience with all of this. It is an overwhelming experience to journey through but journey through it you will. (Yoda voice)
You are experiencing all of these feelings and anxiety because you are already a parent. You are already worried about your baby, i.e. health, emotional well being, physical well being, etc. I worried about all of these things with my first child and realized that I was still worried about the same things and more with my cleft affected one. That doesn’t change. Once you are a parent you are always going to worry about EVERYTHING. That’s what we do. We love with all of our heart and we hurt with all of it, too.